ADOPTED
It didn’t start out to be about me, but it was. In fact, it’s not about me! But LOL, it is about me. And it’s about lots of other folks like me who were adopted without knowing who their real parents were. And still don’t.
A reporter in the HARO (Help A Reporter Out) space needed a few quotes about adoption. I replied that I was willing to help her. The reporter, Chandra Evans, interviewed me and the result is in this article, which turned out to be quite a lot — more than I thought she would be using.
It did get me to thinking about what happened back then, and about the meaning of life. We’re who we are from our genes. YES, I did 23 and me to see who I really was, but the numbers aren’t me. I am me. My brother, Bob, is my brother (also adopted). My adopted mom and dad were my mom and dad. That’s the whole banana right there.
Did “23andme” give me closure? No. But life (I say this all the time, and some people don’t like it) is a crapshoot. No guarantees as to where, when, how, or to whom you are born. Life happens to us all, and what we make of it after we’re here is why we’re here.
Finding out why is what makes it fun. Finding out why is what makes us nuts. Whether you’re adopted or not makes no difference, really.
Remember: Steve Jobs was adopted. ‘Nuf said.
“‘Who are you?’ is an enigmatic puzzle that is mysteriously difficult to understand for adoptees whose lives are complicated by a clash of choices and voices ranging from the potentially intensely hurtful pains of self-discovery to the dull pain of unconsciousness that lasts forever.” —Judith Land
Hi, Judith. Thanks for your comment. I must say that “potentially intensely hurtful pains of self-discovery” happen to everyone — adopted or not. Further… I would submit that some kids are born into families for which the wish they would have been given up for adoption. Another aspect of the “luck of the draw”— some kids are not adopted. They’re orphans or they bear the stigma of foster kids. I did a Huffington Post piece here: http://www.huffingtonpost.co m/kathryn-atkins/foster-kids-need-our-help_b_9739860.html. Meanwhile, one of my friends is looking for her bio mom. That’s pretty brave!
It’s great you’re writing about adoption in your blog. Take good care.
Kathryn, thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your article.
Foster children can expect to fare worse across a wide range of behavioral and emotional outcomes. Children born into these surroundings and circumstances are at a disadvantage for achieving prosperity, education, and a Hollywood ending, even in the best of times. Although doubt will always remain about the ultimate cause for something as widely diffuse as the evolution of social customs, there is no question that public ambivalence about the rapidly increasing number of out-of-wedlock pregnancies, single parenthood, and parent child separation leading to foster care, has significantly changed our society by decreasing opportunities for affluence and happiness for many children.