Changing Names

I listened to a Duolingo French Podcast today, and it talks about a young man who discovers that his grandfather changed his surname from a Jewish name to a French name during the war. The young man tried to change his name to his grandfather’s name but was told he could not because of the French laws at the time. * Spoiler Alert*: Eventually, he was able to change his name. Times and laws change.

Our names are particularly important to us – both our first and last names. I changed my first name from Kathy to Kathryn, as I disliked Kathy growing up. There were three Kathys in my grade in elementary school, so I switched to Kathryn in college. Did I change? No. But my name did. And, my identity was now aligned with my name.  I was lucky I liked Kathryn. What if I wanted a different name altogether?

I was lucky I liked Kathryn.

Some women keep their maiden names. Some give theirs up. Most men don’t change their surnames unless, like the person in the podcast, they want to achieve some goal. He wanted to honor his heritage.

Sharp left turn ahead:
I’m wondering if I want to find my bio mom and dad after all this time. I never looked for them growing up. Maybe I want to know who they were, or maybe not. It’s scary. If I did find them, would I change my name? Would I take hers or his? Either way, would it change who I am?

Wait. How can we identify with something we never chose for ourselves? We choose our dogs’ names. We choose our clothes. Our cars. Our friends. We never “choose” our names.

Maybe our names choose us. And we can accept them or not.