So Now We Know

We thought we would like knowing. In fact everyone that knew liked knowing at first. But now it’s a little weird. It’s strange knowing when your sister is going to die.  It’s simply surreal when people boarding planes are asked if they know.

It is difficult to cope now that you know when your spouse will die. Yes you knew they would. But now you when. It’s horrifically different.

People that know wish they didn’t. People that know find ways to pretend they don’t after all. Everyone is on edge.

Some people plan for it. They stage big going away parties, like they are moving, or retiring. Some people blaze down their bucket lists with heavy black check marks next to the cities and countries they have always wanted to see, the activities they’ve wanted to experience, the lives they’ve wanted to live.

Other people watch TV shows to engage with their lists. But they feel better about it, somehow, now that they’ve taken time to turn on the shows. Before they just talked about it.

Tasting and feeling and loving and living become more important for some. In fact, the wealthy people spend their time spending their wealth. At the same time, the poor people don’t do much differently, because they do not know when they will die. They cannot afford it. Or perhaps they don’t even know they can know.

The greedy people swoop. Like they do. And they make a mess of things. That hasn’t changed.

But now that we know, we change. Because it’s different now. Very different.